Saturday, May 10, 2014

Why Heels?

For as long as I could remember I had a certain attraction for beautiful flashy high heels. When I was only 11 I got a pair of hand me down pair of white heels from someone, my mother told me I could not use it because they were too high for a child. One day I hid them and wore them to church and my mom didn't notice until it was too late. I wore them through the first hour and on the way to second hour I twisted my foot, and broke the heel right off that shoe. Mom was not happy!!! But that was only the beginning of my life long journey with heels.

Once I grew up a little and learned to walk in them I realize that they were actually more comfortable then other shoes. From one pair it went to 2 and 3 and 4 to 20. Every pair of shoes I have has heels in them, even the casual one I wore to the soccer field today to coach my daughters team. Crazy?! My love for the heels is not only cosmetic, but it actually makes sense...

I have a very high arch on my feet, let me see if I can explain.

You see the arch? it has no support when in flat surfaces... the heels mold that arch making it comfortable to walk! 
Sooo, Its safe to say... Never have I ever, nor will I ever own a pair of flats, TOMS, or those weird looking flat boots that should have never left Alaska!

This is not flattering at all, but this was taken 4 days before my son was born. See the heels? Even at 9 months pregnant with 3 other kids to chase after I was in heels. 


And as the photographer at my sisters wedding. 

And at my son's baptism as I ran around like a headless chicken. 

 My religion is the foundation of my life, Mommy is my purpose in life, and heels are an extension of me.

But let it be known... I keep my heels just as high as my standards. 
And as you can see... That is pretty high!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

In honor of Mother's Day.

LDS Church releases Mother's Day video | Deseret News

Another reason why I am a Mother, is because I was taught by an amazing mother the beauty of it.

Why a Mommy?

The journey to Motherhood has not been an easy one, for as long as I could remember I knew I wanted to be a mom. I dreamed of cute little bellies, and perfect and calm children. I was the perfect mom before I had children. I knew how to raise them, and I knew they would listen, and behave effortlessly. Truth is... It has not been AT ALL that way. Getting to the point of having a belly was hard, then the belly was never cute. I never knew there was such a things as an ugly pregnant woman until I became one. Its gotten better but the first child... Destroyed me.

Anyways... I heard this a while back and it hit home.  "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cutter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." God created the woman with the ability to reproduce, our bodies are amazing... We are capable of creating human beings. I  Believe we hold a sacred importance in his plan, I also believe we are expected to respect, these divine powers of reproduction. I have 4 kids, its no walk in the park. There are days, you will find me in a corner rocking back and forth. (not really, but close) There are days that for their own safety they go to bed at 7pm. or eat cold cereal for dinner.

But you see?! Life is made of choices... and I made that choice over 10 years ago. When I chose to be a stay at home mom. I gave up college, to work and push my husband to keep going with his education so we could afford for me to stay home. Once I made that choice, others followed. I'm not successful according to the world standards. I don't have a pretty framed diploma, I never made a difference in the corporate world. I am a mother, and I find my joy, and rewards in the children my body created. There are days, that I let myself wonder... What if??? But like everything in life, we will never know the what if. But I do know, what is.

And that is... It is my responssibility to raise, and teach these children that I chose to have in the very best way that I know and can.

When times get hard... I remember Mark 9:36-37

36 And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them,
 37 aWhosoever shall receive one of such bchildren in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me.
I didn't choose to just be a mom, I chose to follow God's plan for me! 
And that is why I'm a mommy!

Why LDS?

LDS stands for Latter Day Saints,

I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you want to know more about it go HERE and don't believe everything you read everywhere else.

And I will have to answer the why as 2 separate questions.

1. Why I became a member of the church? & 2. Why I chose to stay a member of the church?
To answer question number 1 all you need to know is, that I was born a daughter of LDS parents. I was baptized at the age of accountability which in our religious is 8. I remember very little about my baptism.

Now to question number 2. As I was raised attending church every Sunday for 3 LONG hours, and having different activities throughout the week. I didn't know any other way, I was only doing what was expected of me. However now looking back, I see flashes of different moments that in the long scheme of things have molded me to the person I have become. Some of my first memories was learning the importance of prayer, by catching my parents by surprise down on their knees. I knew if it was important to them, than it had to be important to me. I remember watching my parents do so much good for other people, I saw the love they had for all children of God, and learned that they too deserved my love. I watched my mom spend hours preparing Sunday lesson, reading scriptures, singing in church choirs. I waited for my dad to come home from church hours after we did, because he stayed back serving in his calling. I learned the importance of being honest when I was dragged back into a store to return a candy I had stolen.

As I grew up, I noticed that our church had so much to offer. Sometimes it was hard... You see... we live by a certain standard. We are taught not to wear provocative clothing, we should not Drink, Smoke, do drugs... We save Sex for AFTER marriage, and children are a blessing that comes to a husband and a wife through the bonds of matrimony. We are taught to stand for what is right even if we stand alone. I always loved a saying I learned in my youth, "Be in the world but not of it."

Did you know that its not cool to do that? I was introduced to drugs in the school bus in 9th grade. I am glad I was taught that it was wrong and had the courage to turn it down. I came across a cigarette once, and out of rebellion I decided I was going to Smoke that thing. The only problem was, no one I associated with smokes so I didn't even know how to light it. So to the garbage it went. Alcohol was never an issue, all I had to do was spend a few minutes watching others to realize they became stupid after a few.

I found my knight in shining armor at the young age of 18, he was everything I had been preparing myself for. As my sister likes to say.. "we are not "lucky" to have each other, we just set our standards high and didn't settle."  We got married and what I though was the end of my problems was only the beginning. No one could have prepared me for the trials ahead, things got hard... REALLY hard. We lost our first baby at 14 weeks. Can someone please explain to a 20 year old, why God allowed her to carry, love, dream about this baby for 14 weeks and then without any explanation one day take it all away?  I had done all the requirements. If there was a list of good girl qualifications, I would have a CHECK next to all of them. So WHY, WHY?! Little did I know that would be the first out of many... But I was angry, it was unfair. This God that I had followed and worshiped for 20 years was not being FAIR. He was supposed to be there, and yet I felt alone. And the more I thought about it, the more I hated Him. The darker my world got, and if there ever was a bottom... I hit it... hard!!!

So I lived in darkness for a while, Smiling through the anger and the pain so others would not notice. Until one day I realized that although life was not perfect when I allowed God in it, it was a heck of a lot better than this. So for the first time in months, I knelt down. I poured my heart out, and prayed that some how He would help me heal the pain. a scripture reference came to my head. I didn't know it by heart so I had to go look it up.

Moroni 10:3-5 (from The Book of Mormon)
  Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and bponder it in yourchearts.
 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not btrue; and if ye shall ask with a csincere heart, with dreal intent, having efaith in Christ, he will fmanifest thegtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may aknow the btruth of all things.
At first I was confused as to why this scripture came to my mind, than I realized I was questioning my Faith. I had never truly asked Him, if it was true. I just lived by it because it was the thing for me to do. So that night I took the time... I opened my heart, with real intent. I asked my Heavenly Father at that moment if what I had been taught, was true. Was this book that so many cursed and called it as taboo, is IT true? Is this religion true? The answer I received, was CLEAR. It was UNDENIABLE. I knew at that moment, IT IS TRUE. God does live, He answers prayers. And HE is the head of His church on Earth. From that moment on I chose to stay a member of the Church, I was truly converted. AND unlike my baptism, that moment I will never forget.
That's why I am an LDS. In spite of all the negativity that is out there created by men, my faith does not come from man, but from God through the Spirit. Don't try to tell me otherwise. You will just re enforce my theory that Satan will use anyone and everything to turn a righteous saint astray.  "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."